A promising foundation - but how does the scene conclude? If this is the resolution the film has been building to this point for the last hour and a half or so - how will you round this story off?
I'm not too sure about the accents - this is very working class and 'geezer' for a romantic comedy/drama, are you sure you can justify this with his reaction to meeting 'Diane' (make sure you spell her name consistently). I think you need to move this to another location - the pub works for meeting but clearly he will need to meet her for the confrontation - her calling them on the mobile would be a good way to link.
There needs to be more to explore you Macro and establish he has had a breakdown/affected his romantic masculinity. Why has he agreed to meet him in the Pub - what are they confronting each other about - isn't he there for an intervention, or does there need to be an alterior motive? Could this be how he introduces Diane to him?
A promising foundation - but how does the scene conclude? If this is the resolution the film has been building to this point for the last hour and a half or so - how will you round this story off?
ReplyDeleteI'm not too sure about the accents - this is very working class and 'geezer' for a romantic comedy/drama, are you sure you can justify this with his reaction to meeting 'Diane' (make sure you spell her name consistently). I think you need to move this to another location - the pub works for meeting but clearly he will need to meet her for the confrontation - her calling them on the mobile would be a good way to link.
There needs to be more to explore you Macro and establish he has had a breakdown/affected his romantic masculinity. Why has he agreed to meet him in the Pub - what are they confronting each other about - isn't he there for an intervention, or does there need to be an alterior motive? Could this be how he introduces Diane to him?
D